WWLKD?

This is actually a little something I've been meaning to write for quite some time now, even before I started this blog, in fact. That is because many a-time I find myself thinking just who am I doing this for, just what is the darn purpose, the bleeding end goal of all this here work. I put in a lot of time and effort on the stuff I write, all of it, both the serious and the silly, even to the point of painstakingly going back to fix little issues that won't even be particularly noticeable to anyone but me, just a bunch of dumb ODC details, I guess. And yet in all those things I wanna say I've put in a whole lot of love too... What I'm trying to say is that, for once in my life I've started doing what I love, and though I get one or two kind words along the way, which do help more than people realize, my work is going mostly unnoticed. At this stage in the game I'd like a day of recognition to arrive, but if or when it does I need to prepare for many moments of dislike, of that same recognition bringing about a storm of very negative reviews. I need to be aware that with enough people reading my work some of them are abound to like it, that's true, but likewise some are bound to absolutely hate it, pick it apart and mercilessly mock it. And so I find myself wondering how will I react on that day, if I'll take in stride or if I'll fall apart, and in moments of meditation I constantly keep asking myself the question – what would Len Kabasinski do?

I can't quite say Len is one of my favorite filmmakers per say because I haven't seen any of his films... yet. I do intend to, namely Curse of the Wolf and Angel of Reckoning, but I haven't gotten around to it. And if I get a tiny bit frustrated when people simply don't take the time to read my work because they are oh so so busy, then I gotta admit my share of hypocrisy for not doing the same with Len's work. Anyway, while I can't say Len is one of my favorite filmmakers of all time I can safely say he's one of my favorite people, and that is simply because he's one hell of a guy. Unlike a lot of his contemporary filmmakers he appears to have zero pretentiousness about him, he appears to understand the limitations of his movies while still cherishing them and loving the overall genre itself. In all that he developed an almost fatherly love for his own work which is where some of the more protective instincts stem from, instincts that might understandably make us very defensive about any criticism of our own work. For a long time I never quite got that, I always felt too careless regarding criticism of movies and books and whatnot, never quite realizing I might be insulting someone else's brainchild, someone else's baby... With Len you could say I learned how much of an idiot I was being, and thus I began to admire him quite a lot because when he was confronted with his critics, what did he do? He tanked their first hit, turned the other cheek on the second, and then befriended them.

Am I then saying Len Kabasinski is like Jesus Christ?... Yes, yes I am. If the long hair and beard aren't enough to convince you, then the fact that he forgave his enemies surely must be the decider. Then he went above and beyond in just being an all-round cool guy, always reading the comments and interacting with the fans, plugging his movies a little bit here and there too, sure, but why shouldn't he? In doing so he gained a whole lot of fans, taking the entire Red Letter Media fanbase unto himself. Hell, even within RLM itself he took home all the awards... Tallest? Check. Handsomest? Check. Coolest voice? Check. Coolest leather jacket and cowboy boots? Check. Strongest resistance to booze? Check. What more could you ask for except for him to be a chill guy who can be a team player as well as a commanding presence? Nothing really, and that's why he's the best honorary member in RLM history. Anytime he's on I'm happy to watch, and I have in fact rewatched the Raw Force episode quite a few times, I even went and watched the movie itself, wholly on Len's recommendation, and it totally holds up by the way. At times it's even kinda cozy to watch smaller movies, to rediscover a simpler kind of cinema where most of the actors are unknown to you, and should you wish to discover more about them or the movie itself you'll need to dig deep. If you do find a movie like that it's almost a little secret, and the actors and actresses you love watching are often total mysteries who took on two or three credits under their name only to then completely vanish, leaving your admiration, or little crush, in utter platonism... But as I was trying to say, at least to me it's often easy to forget that the people behind any movie are real people, not just blank slates ready to endure any possible criticism, and that's why in a gesture of complete fairness, Len goes by a little rule of mentioning the positives within each movie, which is simply the best way to review, well, anything really, and thus it's a rule I aim to adopt.

On a slightly more serious note though, not that what I've said so far is a complete joke but still, I wanna say that I genuinely admire Len's outlook on life and even more so his reaction to his critics. Because the gang, mostly Hollywood celebrity Rich Evans, really did have some harsh criticisms of his movies, which don't get incredible ratings to begin with... But because the crew also loved them, or just because they can at the end of the day separate the art from the artist, at least insofar as the criticism itself is concerned, they also became best buds. In doing so they also got answers to a lot of questions about the filmmaking process, all these tiny little details they perceived to be surreal mistakes made out of sheer stupidity but that actually had rational reasons behind them. Realizing that made me wonder something similar about all works of art, it made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, those details I criticized so objectively actually have a point to them, and in some instances it could all be a matter of perspective. And if I would expect people to appreciate my work from a, shall we say, correct perspective, then I oughta extend the same courtesy to the works of others. Now, that's not to say I'd wanna fall into a complete relativism whereby all art is meaningless and its worth depends solely on your personal taste, but it's also about not discounting all subjectivity wholeheartedly. At the end of the day it's easy to forget that there's an actual person behind the work I might dislike and tear apart, and the fact that sometimes that person could turn out to be a great guy is a real slap in the face.

For now I'm at a stage where my work is mostly being ignored, and either it will continue that way forever or the day will come when I will indeed get some attention. And though I'd like to remain naively optimistic, I also need to prepare for the possibility that a lot of negative criticism will rain down on it. I have to prepare for the very real possibility that a whole lot of people will read just a bit of it and hate it, if with some legitimacy or just out of spite I dunno, but I gotta accept it either way. In a nutshell, I gotta accept that my books won't have exclusively positive reviews, or that my articles won't be taken in absolute appreciation and agreement. And when, or if, that day does come, I'll do my darn best to be as cool, as chill, as sharp, as steadfast, as patient, as pleasant, and as forgiving as Len Kabasinski.

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Paulo Seabra

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