My 3 Favorite Moments in “Attack on Titan”

Having recently finished this tale I realized I had quite a few things to say about it, both about its rather unsatisfying ending but also just some of my criticisms of the story overall, which more or less tie together to explain why I couldn't love it quite as much as I wanted to. It was just a constant tug of war for me, this strange feeling of loving certain aspects of Isayama's creation, such as its mystery and unfailing spirit, while also really hating other aspects, such as unresolved plot threads or the ultimate direction the story took. But it don't make much sense now to get too deep into it, I've said my piece and I don't aim to repeat it, at least not at this point, and not to mention how it might prove differently when the anime ends and all this stuff resurfaces once again... We'll climb over that wall when we get to it, I suppose... For now I have a more laudatory essay in mind, which would be a little compilation of my three favorite moments in this story, all of which I believe really go to the heart of Attack on Titan, which, weird ending aside, was always a story that painted an extremely bleak picture of pessimism only to then force its characters to seize their own free will and revolt against the world they find themselves in, to fight on against all odds and challenges, to dedicate their hearts to the future of mankind... Because when the story reveals its spirit like this, in a way I can only call unashamedly human, then it really shines.

Episode 106 / Chapter 6

And without further ado, this would be my first favorite moment. Indeed, I would call this the first moment when the infamous “this world is cruel” line really hits hard... It's here that we discover Mikasa's violent past, which is obviously shocking in countless ways, especially as it is resurfaced during the first major battle of the show, with our cast being swiftly dwindled as tons of characters are mercilessly killed left and right in a slaughter they weren't at all prepared for. And even in the midst of battle, Mikasa remembers her parents being murdered for no good reason and with no kind of warning, she remembers how this world is constructed in such a way that one moment can be entirely calm and peaceful only for the very next one to be full of pain and misery. But then she realizes that this shift isn't a time when evil happens, she realizes that this shift is happening constantly. As a child she would often admire nature's beauty out of a sense of ignorance, but in truth, animals always kill each other, and she kills animals as well, or at least she needed animals to be killed on her behalf by her loving father. And as she's surrounded by seemingly evil titans, her thoughts are overwhelmed by the pessimistic and very realistic idea that death is all around her.

But it goes a bit deeper than that... It's not just that this world has thieves, murderers or titans, the problem is that this world, much like our own world, is brutal due to its very nature, so much so that suffering appears to be specifically built into it. Mikasa realizes this upon noticing how the pretty sights in nature are either only pretty as an illusion or they are mere moments of quiet before inevitably turning ugly... Just like the murderers shed blood for their own gain, so do the titans and so does literally every other living thing in existence. The pretty mantis eats the pretty butterfly and so it goes, on it spins this world of ours. And then we come to realize that violence is just a matter of perspective, because from the perspective of the animals, it's the humans who are the real titans, it's the humans who peer over the walls and take their pick of who to slaughter. So the world itself, even without being personified in any way, is indeed cruel.

Episode 311 / Chapter 71

This next moment gives us a very rare moment to remember Eren's mother, and it gives us a slight glimpse at the mostly peaceful life within the walls before the dreaded appearance of the colossal titan. The episode in question centers around Keith Shadis as he feels constantly overshadowed by people around him – by other commanders like Erwin, who is much more revered than him, by Eren's father, who is immediately welcomed and beloved by the townsfolk, and eventually by Eren himself whom he recognizes to be the true protagonist of the story. In doing so he considers himself a mere bystander, someone who simply wasn't born to be special, someone who just exists and wanders around, aimlessly playing his very insignificant part. And when that hits him hardest he almost yells at Eren's mother, who at the time was holding an infant Eren in her arms, and he goes so far as to insult her, saying she lives a meaningless life as a waitress, just pouring drinks and serving food. But she is wholly unaffected and inclined to disagree... She instead looks at baby Eren and, completely unfazed by those words, refutes them by saying that to achieve some kind of higher recognition is unnecessary, and that her son is special for no reason other than the fact that he was born into this world...

In some ways her words make no sense, but in other ways they do make a lot of sense... They make no sense because instinctively we can look around and see how we live in a world filled with nameless people, the overwhelming majority of which have died a long time ago and were simply lost to time. We like to think that even if we fully accept death we still know that the people who love us will always remember us, but the truth is those who remember you will die as well, and on and on until there's nobody left who remembers or even cares who you were, just like today none of us remember that nice waitress who worked at that tavern on so-and-so street, though one like that surely existed... But then again, the fact that you do exist in the world means that all those little and seemingly meaningless things that had to happen for you to be born, they all really happened, every single one of them down to the millimeter... And I suppose we can choose to see things like that, and if so, then even if our existence remains contingent, it sure doesn't feel like it.

Episode 316 / Chapter 80

If I had to guess I'd say this is the moment that made Erwin a fan-favorite character, though sadly it was also his last... In this scene our heroes are struggling against the demonic beast titan as he cowardly stands in the distance, showering them with sharp rocks. They are completely outmatched, they are too small and fragile, and the beast titan will not stop unless he is stopped. The only way to stop him is with a sacrifice... And while this happens we see Erwin reminiscing about his past, about the long journey that led him there, on the cusp of a great discovery, as he realizes he's only there because he was propped up by the countless sacrifices made before him, much like a perhaps more honorable Griffith from Berserk. Erwin then has to rally his troops one last time, and he does so without any kind words, without any pretty lies about the mission – he tells them they are riding to their deaths... But are they meaningless deaths? No. If the sacrifices of the soldiers who died before them were not in vain, then likewise our heroes' sacrifices will not be in vain. It might be the end of the road for them but it will not be the end of the road for those who will go on after them. These heroes have played their part and so they die on this day, but thanks to them humanity will go on, forever rebelling against this cruel world.

Thus, this moment marks the philosophical culmination of the two moments that came before it – it's an acceptance that the world is indeed as cruel as Mikasa learned, even in the more blissful days of her childhood, and it's a proclamation of the unshakable belief that each individual is special due to the simple fact of having been born into this world. So what is the solution then? According to Erwin it's simply to rebel against it, it's to force the world to play its hand, and if that hand is absolute violence, then so be it... And then Erwin and his soldiers willingly accept a seemingly meaningless, very brutal and unceremonious death, a certain death they could have avoided by running away instead. The world would still remain cruel though, that cruelty can't be outrun, and death would be certain anyway, just perhaps not on that day... But no, because on that day these soldiers decided to make the ultimate sacrifice against a much more powerful enemy, all so that even if their names are forgotten, the simple and self-evident fact that humanity lives on will forever be proof they once stood in this world...

And so, regardless of how this story went on, which I'm saddened to say is a little regrettable, at its core I like to see it as a constant revolt against pessimism, which, to a guy like me, is a constant struggle. For that reason it's very impressive to momentarily inhabit a world where characters in that situation, a constant, dire and entirely loosing struggle, still decide to carry on with a strength that comes from a very secret and at the same time very universal place, much like the heart of humanity itself.

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